


The River in Me

by GoodbyeBlueMonday



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Artsy Smut, Canon Compliant, Enthusiastic Consent, F/F, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Season/Series 04, Smut, at least it should be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-14 12:44:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11208348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodbyeBlueMonday/pseuds/GoodbyeBlueMonday
Summary: "That feeling, when we performed the ritual today...I want to feel that again."Tara and Willow's first time, set right after "Who Are You."





	The River in Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm making my way through Buffy, currently on season 4, so apologies if not everything is perfectly in-line with the complex web of Buffy canon. I just really wanted to write about when I think Willow and Tara had their first time. I'm sure I am not remotely the first person to do this, but fanfiction is purely self-indulgent for me. ;)

Willow had never felt like this before.

With Oz, she had felt good. It had been a quick sort of good, sudden, really big and then gone. Like a burst, a bolt of thunder. That's the way it was with boys, Buffy had told her after her first time. They got things done, quickly. 

But this time, it came along slowly, riding over her like a wave. When Tara's mouth massaged her, it was small at first, but built until it was  _almost_ too much. It felt overwhelming, but the best kind of overwhelming. 

When Willow was in middle school, she'd been a Mathlete, and her team made it to the national competition. That was exciting enough, but then they won--and Willow was named most valuable player, with a special gold medal to go with her team trophy. The happiness and thrill was almost too much, but also perfect, because she felt like she was on top of the world. Like she could do anything.

That was how she felt right now, but even better. 

She's not sure she could tell Tara that comparison. She knew she liked Tara, but wasn't sure she really knew her yet.

But she knew she wanted to know her better. She knew she needed more of this.

She let the pleasure wash over her, the wave crest and fade, flowing like the river inside her.

When it was over, all Willow could think about was how she wanted to do the same for her girlfriend in turn.

* * *

It had started with the spell to find Buffy's soul. 

That was Willow's first astral projection. She'd needed Tara to hold her as an anchor, as they repeated the incantation to summon Ayala to search the nether realm for Buffy. As Willow had rose up, she'd felt a similar sort of slowly building desire wash over her. It felt like her whole body was on fire, even before she felt her soul floating away from it.

It had been incredible. And somehow, instinctively, Willow knew it was also kind of sexual. From Oz, she knew what an orgasm felt like, but there was something different about this one. And something told her that she could find it again if she came running back to Tara.

It had been at on her mind already. She'd noticed that her feelings weren't that different from the ones she'd had for boys in the past, for Oz and, previously, for Xander. She couldn't think about anyone else, she wanted to spend all her time with Tara. She wanted to introduce her to her friends _but also_ keep her for herself. She wanted to learn everything about her. But it was only when she'd told Tara some of this, and Tara had responded saying she was  _hers_ , was  _Willow's_ , that she  _really_ connected the dots in a way that allowed her to act on it. 

She'd kissed Tara several times, first small pecks on the cheek and then lips, but soon passionately. And it had felt better than kissing boys ever had. And she knew she wanted more of this. But she wasn't sure where to start.

The spell had been a bridge. Like a preview, a nudge, a confirmation that this was what she wanted.

As Willow came down from it, breathing hard, ready to tell Tara what she had learned about Buffy and Faith, she was surprised when Tara spoke first.

"Did you know Ayala is also the goddess of desire?" she said, with a shy but knowing smile.

"Really?"

"Yes, she goes by many names around the world. Venus, Freya, Aphrodite..."

* * *

Tara had known. She hadn't said but she had known, on some level, what had happened to Willow with the spell. And what she wanted.

When Willow returned to Tara's room that night, after everything was settled, they hadn't needed to say anything. She closed the door and they simply connected, arms connected, lips connected, passionately kissing.

Tara looked at her questioningly. "This is...more than before."

"Yes," Willow said, as she moved to remove her shirt.

"Are you sure? Are you sure this is what you want, I'm not a--"

"Yes," Willow repeated, fixing her gaze on Tara. "This is what I want. You are what I want. I'm ready."

"Alright." Tara tore off her own shirt and unclasped her bra, way quicker than WIllow thought was possible, before they were kissing again. 

Willow sucked on Tara's lip one last time before she tried to pull away, pulling her arms back from Tara's neck to unclasp her own bra.

"No, no, let me--" Tara said, removing Willow's arms and disappearing behind her, to undo the clasp. As she did, she brought her hands around to Willow's breasts, setting them on her nipples, gently massaging her mounds. Tara moved her mouth to Willow's neck and asked again,

"Is this okay?"

Willow couldn't help but moan, at the sensation of Tara's hands fondling, pressing into her. She figured that was answer enough, but just in case, gasped out a "Yes."

With that, Tara started kissing her neck, intensifying the pleasure.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. It was nice, and new -- Oz had touched her boobs plenty of times, but Tara was skilled in a way he never was. It was like she knew just what Willow liked, just what would make her go crazy. 

She supposed having your own set of breasts gave you a certain level of insight.

Even with how good it was, though, Willow started to get impatient. She hadn't just come here for second base. She wanted  _more_.

Again, it was like Tara could tell without Willow saying it. She moved her hands down Willow's stomach, and lower, and lower...

"Is this..."

"Yes, please," Willow said, shifting her lower, encouraging her.

Tara laughed, and then suddenly pulled away, leaving Willow cold and confused.

"Let's go to the bed," she said. "I want to make it good for you, your first time with a girl... with me, I want it to be good."

Willow didn't tell her it couldn't be anything  _but_ good with her.

* * *

So soon, Willow was spread out on Tara's bed, with Tara on top, kissing her senseless.

By this point, they were both complete bare to each other, their clothes a heap on the floor.

Tara kissed lower and lower, as Willow verbally urged her on. She kissed and licked down her neck, down the groove between her cleavage, as well as turning her head to the side to once again lavish attention upon Willow's nipples, giving each a wet, sloppy kiss. Willow groaned, and she could hear Tara's quiet chuckle. It was low and proud--not a feeling Tara showed often. Willow wanted to hear more of it from her.

Tara kept going down further, kissing Willow's belly button, and then further...and  _further_. It kept getting better, and Willow wondered when Tara had become so good at this. How, or  _who_ made her so good at this.

And then she realized that she didn't really like thinking of Tara with anybody else.

That unpleasant though didn't last long, though, because Tara found Willow's clit. Once again, she stared up at her before doing anything, asking, "Is this okay?"

"Please!" Willow cried, and Tara smiled as she moved her tongue across the nub. 

That's when the river began to flow, and to cascade up Willow's body as Tara licked and licked.

She could feel herself moaning, but she could barely hear it, so lost in the sensations below her and how they built and built, overwhelming her every sense.

Flowing, like a river. Rising, like the tide. She was drowning in it, and never wanted to submerge.

 _Ayala, goddess of desire, flowing through the river in me_.

But really, it was no goddess who could do this to her. It was only Tara, the only one who'd ever made her feel this way. Even the spell couldn't quite compare -- and even that wasn't like this. But even that was still, on some level, Tara.

She was all Willow wanted, forever, if she could make her feel this way.

No more boys. No more anyone. Just Tara, her own Ayala.

* * *

In the afterglow, they held each other and Willow kissed Tara's head, and told her this.

She wasn't sure that Tara believed this. Willow would just have to keep telling her until she did.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write smut much, and worry I'm not that good at it, so please comment to let me know how I did. I'd like to write more F/F smut, especially since AO3 doesn't have nearly enough of it. 
> 
> I tend to interpret Willow's sexuality as -technically- bisexual in that she's had romantic and sexual feelings for boys in the past, but functionally lesbian in that she's found that being with girls is so much better that she doesn't want to go back to that. So that's how I tend to write her.


End file.
